there is a divine guiding hand in the life of us all.
and just when there are times that i think i might have pushed that hand away
or given reason to let me fend for myself, i realize it is not gone.
after the painstaking and humbling things i do to make my world right again,
i slowly realize that it never left me.
that maybe that hand was there all along.
maybe it pushed me away, just to realize what it was like to be without,
and to want to come back.
and maybe it kept me from the very verge of destruction
and scooted me towards a better, but not yet healing light,
just to let me learn a few things.
the hand that brought me to, but kept me just above, the spilled milk
and let me learn how to clean it up,
was always there and always knew.
it always knew what i did not know i was capable of.
but it patiently waited, until i realized it to.
and then it took no credit for the things it had done.
and i wept at its meek beauty and promised to always let it hold me.
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