L: I found a new girlfriend actually. She's older and won't leave me for my twin like my old girlfriend did.
G (when I call home): Mario's Pizza, what can I get you?
Me: I'd like a large pepperoni and anchovy pizza delivered to me at school please. Can you do that?
G: No. Sorry, nobody likes anchovies.
L: My friend - she likes sharks as much as she likes bracelets.
G: But I'm a unicorn! Unicorns are never late!
L: Get your mind out of the gutter!
Me: Do you even know what that means?
L: Yes. It means don't think dirty things. Like poop.
G: Did you know that when elves die, they bury them in ornaments?
Me: How do you know that?
G: Because its Christmas.
L: Oh yeah, and if elves die, you can bring them back to life. You just sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on them.
Me: And how do you know that?
L: It's just easy.
Mom (to L, as he is upset that his twin is beating him at bowling): G is never better than you at anything. Let him have his fun.
G: Nuh uh, I am good at art AND origami
G: Come on, I'm the tan one in the family
M (reading a headline on the newspaper): "Best way to start 2014 - Babies"
G: Well, lets buy a baby then.
L: Jenna, this is gonna be easy for you, Does the sun go around the earth or the earth go around the sun? That's too easy. The sun goes around the earth.
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