i'll walk on

i seem to always get stuck.
stuck on something. or someone.
and no matter what, i can't seem to move past it.
my obsessive brain dwells and dwells on the same simple facts,
that are so obviously black and white,
and try to look for the gray maybes hidden within.
inevitably, i lead myself to more miserable moments,
just trying to label denial as optimism.

and finally, yesterday,
i was hit with the bricks of actuality.
there is no in between shade of gray, however much i may wish for it.
i am me, and he is he. (grammar?)
i cannot change what the imminent may be,
as hard as my controlling thoughts may press the area or disappointment in my mind.

so here i am,
leaving the many somethings
and the not so prevalent someone,
for a much bigger and better world of
definites and possibilities.
and i feel pretty darn confident about it.
and pretty darn empowered.