it doesn't make sense

sometimes, i don't make sense. 

not only the things i say (i can be very, very confusing), but me, as a person. 

like why wasn't i born with red hair? its obviously such a better fit with my coloring.

and why do i have the tendency to let my tongue freeze over when meeting new people?

why am i supposed to be spending my time and life photographing people, 

when i naturally find it uncomfortable and awkward to have confidence in that area?

don't get me wrong-

i'm all for loving yourself as you are and making the best of what you've got. 

but i still just wonder.

and then i remember. 

i remember that if i had naturally red hair, it probably still wouldn't be red today. 

if i didn't have a hard time meeting people,

i wouldn't have met the greatest people i know today, who take the time to talk to the shy tall girl. 

but biggest of all, i am supposed to photograph people for the very reason i wonder why in the first place. 

to stop being nervous and awkward and relate to people the way i know i can. 

and i'm given this in the most beautiful art form i have grown to appreciate so deeply.

once i had a voice with ideas and interests, but was too afraid to talk.

and when i did speak, i realized i had things to say and i didn't care who would listen and who did not. 

there is a purpose for everything out there, ya know. 

and his name is stuart....

i am in love with a man. the singer of fictionist, to be exact. 

it started out small, with mere attraction to the lovely blonde clark gable do, 

and the fabulous black glasses. 

then those lovely blue eyes and his absolutely FABULOUS style struck a growing obsession within me that was hard to stop. 

there he is, right smack in the middle, fancy shoes and all. 

and he's even wearing a bow tie.

"creativity and inspiration are very elusive. 

there's the part that you can grasp, the craft of something. 

with music you can say what key is it in, what tempo, 

but then as far as what exactly your art is going to be 

and what a song is going ot be about, thats a completely different thing. 

its while theres an infinite number of things we can write about, 

there's a finite number of things that you have an emotional license to write about, 

that tie to your specific experience that can actually become something authentic 

that you can speak about."

darn that stuart maxfield for being too great. 

its only a shame he is married. she is lucky. and i will admire from afar. 

wishing for my own stuart maxfield mixed with the fabulous josh davis. don't get me started. 

starchild, soccer, and a wrong color hoodie

i have two little twin brothers. 

and while most people confuse them because of their similarities in looks (i mean, they are twins), 

it is not hard at all to tell the difference in their little personalities.  

it seems that the older the get, the more polar opposite they become, 

making their interactions that much more entertaining. 

while little l is all athlete, g could absolutely care less. 

as you could probably guess, the soccer is a treat. 

g, or starchild as i more frequently call him, and today's soccer game:

*in starchild's defense, their team was winning by a large amount. so there wasn't as big as a worry for him to be involved in the game. 

lately...

things i love lately...

nienie's book

my complete 8 film harry potter collection 

this song

playing with my friend

paper bows

daily phone calls

boxing day

when you've spent the last seven days assembling 1,200 boxes, stuffing large foam fingers and other miscellaneous items inside, and labeling them for mail, you would want to talk about it too. theres not much to say other than exactly that. i assembled, stuffed, and sent 1,200 boxes (with some much appreciated help along the way). it was a blur. but a fun blur. an accomplished blur. and with these cardboard cuts and orange foam finger fuzz all over my body, i will walk proudly at the time i spent with the towers of boxes that so closely resembled mr. ollivanders wand shop.

some pictures, for your entertainment,

because i realized this today

my odd and somewhat strange obsessions:

bowties

fancy shoes

red hair

tea cups

unlike this

just one unfortunate symptom i've noticed that has resulted from facebook.

thumbs-up syndrome 

[thuhms uhp sin-drohm]

noun 

1. simply put, wishing to respond to various forms of communication (email, text, blog posts) 

by 'liking' it, instead of writing back.

i.e. Nancy's e-mail response was short and did not need a whole response and my chronic thumbs-up syndrome resulted in no response from me.

2. could also be a result of not wishing to politely communicate like we are meant to with the people of this world, and wishing to take the easy way out. Therefore, teaching one to become rude and terrible at actual communication. 

whats the world coming to?
any one else notice this or is it just me?

for your sunday

because i am reading this book right now

and because i am loving every word in it. 

because it is a good book for your sunday 

and a good book for always. 

the beehive

it was a bun kind of day.

good night book

i love reading before bed.
i love suddenly realizing the ever so late hour, because i am so thoroughly captivated
by the eloquent words telling my most favorite stories as i discover them.
it lets me know summer is here.
for it is the glorious season of the sun that i read the most
and that i devour the pages of a good old fashioned book with its lovely fresh smell.
it is the time that ignore all other people and choose to do nothing but read my book.
maybe its the antisocial streak in me.
maybe its the genetics of my reading obsessed mother.
but whatever it is, i just love a good book.

lately...

things i love lately...

reading homework with starchild

cupcake nights

(nice photo j!)

bandaid hands full of cardboard cuts

gossip girl with ma twin

tea cups. i'm dying to buy some. 

many songs from them. 

weakness....

i've always known that i have an impulsive streak in my body. it is especially apparent when i take a trip to walmart, like the other night, just to rent a movie and i walk out with cookie dough too. its a terrible trait to have, i know. how am i to change that? i can't have a personal assistant follow me every time i sneak out to target. i know its a terrible mix of inheritance and repetitive behavior, but i simply must put an end to this all. i must quit with my five biggest impulse buys, which are, as follows,

1. essie nail polish. not just any regular brand, but the greatest of nail polish, essie. and it used to not be too hard to resist buying it, because i'd have to make the journey to sephora or ulta, and it was perfectly fine to spend only the 3.95 on a bottle of classic revlon nail polish. but once target started carrying essie, it was all over. all over. and my bank account could simply not handle it. 

2. five dollar movies. blast the five dollar movie bins at walmart. even though i might not necessarily love the movie enough to buy it on a regular basis, the simple cheap marketing of walmart nags my money every time. because its only five dollars. and who wouldn't buy a halfway decent movie for only five dollars?

3. cafe rio. i like to eat out. so what? its so convenient and easy. and so so good.  

4. j.crew. stop right there-i do NOT get my entire wardrobe from j.crew. i only wish i could. i have a few shirts, but mostly everything is so hugely outof my price range there, that i rarely am able to splurge.  but i can NOT resist the urge to step into the lovely classic closet of j.crew, and sigh as i walk past all the hugely overpriced articles of clothing that i so desperately wish i had. and i always leave with a heartbroken sigh of "thats just rude."

5. cookie dough. yeah i eat too much. and one day when i have children, i have absolutely no idea how i'll be able to survive because raw eggs and unborn infants do not mix. i guess its easy enough to throw out that impulse buy.

wish me luck my friends. it will be a new road of no careless shopping. 

i'm just that famous....

i am deeply flattered and honored to be on my dear friend courtney's blog today! she is an incredible writer that i know will go far with the talent she has. you should seriously check out her blog. and you should check out my post there. but you should also read her blog otherwise, because i know you would love her fabulous words.

http://tothegirlwiththepearlearring.blogspot.com/2012/04/elsa-j.html

lately...

things i love lately....
(i'm embarrassed by the quality of these first two photos, but i only had my phone on me. drats.)

raspberry nutella gelatto

this bird shirt

stinky tree blossoms

my pal lucy

this picture

this song

yep

because i have nothing to say today.

i'm still enjoying doing nothing constructive at all.

post-school stress

the one thing i've never been able to figure out about being a 'young adult':

old high school classmates. 

going through the ever-so predictable, but marvelous self realization of who i am, and leaving behind the silly cares of what others think at the small gossip adorned door of my high school, has done things for me that i didn't know were possible. a whole world of clothes i was too afraid to wear and music i never played in front of the judgmental peers now blatantly makes itself known at my very appearance.  and while the wonder has emerged in my spud covered little life, i forgot all too well that those people i used to hide from still exist. and man, i freak out at human interaction with people that used to know the shy, quaint, and simple elsa. where's your willingness to hide what you like, and follow the trends? your closet full of clothes that you never really wear because nobody would like them but you? whoa, wait, i thought you were a really quiet girl that stereotypically would find a good nice quiet boy, get married right away and start popping out babies. instead there's a sea of emma stone hair hiding my forehead with real bangs and a wardrobe of classy clothes that make a simple statement. and you like to travel and meet new people?  you have a creative and artsy side too? 

i am definitely not the same person. at least to those i used to know. but really, i am still me. the things i love just resonate on the outside now, with a little bit of added sass. but then, maybe we're all that way. maybe i shouldn't be afraid of showing off who i am and give you a chance to show off you too. 

ahh, the self-realizations that come while writing down the things that trouble you.

ok, here it goes...

remember that my friend jenna is getting married?

a native from georgia, she was disappointed when she and her man 

wouldn't be able to take their engagements in the south. 

when she called, i named off a few people i knew 

that were fabulous photographers and would surely do a great job. 

getting excited at the prospect of her using one of my suggestions, 

i was pretty sure that my deaf ears heard her wrong as she said, 

"well what if you just do it?"

.....................

huh?

you're probably thinking, yeah, you're right elsa. you could never take engagement pictures. 

that is a BIG deal. and you've only just begun. 

but jenna insisted and, as a best friend, i had to accept. 

it was a little intimidating, and i may have not done as well as the photographers i suggested, 

but i am surprised at the somewhat ok factor all these pictures have. 

its all in the prayers kids. its all in the prayers. 

just a few...

whoopises

i'm sorry for disappearing for a few days.
i felt it was a well deserved break.
school is over.
summer is starting. and i am READY for it.
and for all of you that are still in school or busy with other things,
to you, i say,
HA!
no, no, i'm kidding ;)
keep it classy kids.

packing

packing and cleaning. music.
enjoy these songs like we do, even though you might not be cleaning or packing.

o' frass

i am sassy.

so much so, that on multiple occasions today, all of my roommates 

have awkwardly laughed and muttered, "wow sassy elsa".

so much so, that jace, even the queen of sassiness, backed off with a, "i just won't say anything".

and most of all, i have no desire to stop being sassy.

thats when i know its the worst it can get.

and who did i learn all of this from?

the one and only sass master. 

lately

this is a day or two early, but the next 48 hours will be much too hectic.


things i love lately...

bow buns

a whole box just for mason jars and old bottles

toms weather

uke picnics

park days

instagram for my android. 

finally.

i am aware that these pictures make it seem like i am doing absolutely nothing constructive with my day. but it is finals, and i happen to have no finals. hooray. 

boxing

packing's going well.

can't you tell?

.

i don't have much to say today. 

i just love these pictures.

cuffing under pressure

*i am about to share an inside story that may or may not be relevant to you.*

our school has a dress code, and that dress code includes no flip-flops, beards, capris or sweats. 

there are posters around campus that have catchy sayings about certain dress code violations,

followed by a harsh "know the code!"

a favorite past time, jace and i point out the occasional dress code violations on campus with a harsh

"know the code!" 

today, we broke the code. 

well, not really. 

we cuffed our pants and went to the park. 

it was a lovely time. 

i only wished that this small college town had more swings.

with less than a week left, you may think that i would be cuffing under the pressure of school.
but i'm oddly calm. maybe its because i only have two tests that aren't even finals,
but i think its a blessing amongst all the chaos.
thank heavens. i'm ready for the summer. 

josephine and georgina

i have spent all day in bed. literally.

and the roommates keep coming in and out of my room to talk to us.

and every time, i am in the same exact spot.

everything is piled on my bed.

i don't even feel lazy.

i will walk again before my muscles atrophy, but for now, i feel like one of charlie bucket's grandmas. 

go ahead and judge me peeps.

(the view from my spot)