last night....

When you get invited on a Friday night to play Russian Roulette with eggs, you have to go.  And this is what always happens.....

monday

busy is an understatement. is it the end of the semester yet?
i'm trying to eat healthier now. weaning myself off treats is even harder than weaning myself off soda.
on the same page, i loooooove cooking lately. its heaven to me.
this is exactly how i feel about this movie. except i like richard gere.
i have another wedding to shoot this weekend and i can't believe its actually here!
i want to update my laptop to the maverick operating system very badly, but i'm also worried that it might erase things on my computer on accident....
so webmd last night was not a good idea. again. especially because i've added so much language to my repertoire of medical maladies and reading those listed only sent me into a panic. bad choice elsa.
if you can't tell, there's not much to say today that's worth mentioning. maybe next week.

travel coping

thats me, taking a picture in austria. i looked through some pictures from my trip last summer and had that aching feeling come back immediately. i wanted to re-shoot every single thing i had shot before and shoot even more pictures because i was baffled at little i had taken and how much i was already starting to forget.  so it makes me want to go back again. 

did i tell you about hallstatt? the most wonderful little town in austria? i felt like i entered a completely untouched piece of the country where tourists hadn't maimed it yet, and i was just discovering it. there were salt mine tours that were ridiculously boring while completely hysterical at the same time. and the town itself, with its architecture and little shops made me want to stay there for a few more days and eat brautwursts. so i think i'll start telling you more about this trip too, because i want to remember them too. 

do you ever look back? i think it's human nature to. we all look back, seeing the things that we remember. but the things that get me the most are the things that changed.  who i thought i would be. who i thought i was.  what i thought i would be doing.  where i thought i would be going. when i would be there. isn't it funny?  it was all so different that it makes us laugh at the idea of its difference and baffle at it too. the things that didn't happen and the things that we didn't expect, but came they to life. the old-timey grandma inside of me sits and shakes her head at life, thinking how am i ever going to make sure i've done it all.  is that bad? that i always remember things that have happened? or is it worse that i look forward to the things i imagine? regardless of the now, is not a way that i should live. so i'm coming back to that slowly, painstakingly just thinking about right now. because next time i look back, i want to remember being so engulfed in that time that its memory is distinct and its clarity in tact.

monday

this is as good as it gets today.

writing is therapeutic. that's why when i'm unbelievably busy i still write. i'm a creative.
oh happy st. patrick's day. i wore this green scarf. because i still remember when i was in kindergarten and my mom forgot it was st. patrick's day and i was about to get on the bus, so she took a safety pin and took a green leaf off the tree and pinned it to my shirt. that's a nice mommy.
i have only a few weeks left in school, and i just want to know, how is that going to work out?
target is all i need sometimes. and a good craft store.
the photos keep rolling in. i'm currently learning how to balance all of that.
can i please have the attractive man that skeeter dates in the help? he resembles john krasinski and zac efron at the same time and that is a blessed combination.
i've decided that i watch grey's anatomy like a drug user. its in spurts of way too much at a time and generally when i want to avoid doing anything productive. so, is that a bad thing...?
i get to go to girls camp again (which wasn't completely clear before), but i don't have to be in charge, and that is the funnest thing i could ask for.

lately.....

things i love lately.........

neutral colors 

its all i wear

sunny temple days for weddings

darling magazine

thanks for the suggestion jace

peanut clusters

addicted

flat wearing weather

when something is right

i think when something is right, it's different. its exhilarating. its not nervousness. its anxious and anticipation mixed with determination.

i was thinking about the last wedding i shot, which as i mentioned, was completely by myself. the temple was packed that day with 57 weddings, and navigating spots, keeping groups together, all of that stuff, was not an easy task. yet, the entire day i had this odd confidence about me. like i had done it before and i already knew what i was doing. it wasn't a 'fake it til you make it' kind of thing. it was real and odd and completely unbelievable. i don't know how i did it, but all i do know is that it was right. it feels like its not only what i want to do now, but what i am supposed to be doing now. and those little moments i have when i remember this and realize this make me feel so wonderfully blessed. that reassurance from a divine being is one of the more powerful experiences in life and i could not respect it more.

monday

this is how i feel. except i'm not dressed like this. 

so, somehow i got on this stint of wanting to listen to the dixie chicks on repeat.
also, long car drives back to school are really just my excuse to have glee club rehearsals. because that's what keeps me awake.
the bachelor finale is on tonight and half of my apartment already knows who wins. why we're still all watching it is a riddle to me (insert sarcasm here).
doterra oils are literally magic. like sometimes, i think that they're potions from hogwarts.
every night before i go to bed, i sneak out to the living room and turn on the AC because it gets so hot during the night. and in the morning everyone asks why its so cold hehehe
i have decided that being the back up is not in my best interest. done.
i also have decided that i love doing what i do. i shot my first wedding all by myself. it was a rush.
also, what was with the one photographer that wore jeans to shoot her wedding? JEANS! unprofessional.
this monday is one of those mondays that i literally couldn't care about anything else.
falling asleep last night was no easy task. waking up was even harder. #daylightsavingsprobs #insomniacprobs
i've purposely made myself not watch grey's anatomy since last thursday. ask me how its gone.
all i know is, i can't complain, because i got pizza from my dad and chik-fil-a this weekend. i'm set.

For your Sunday

 This was given last week at my school and it has an incredible power.  Listen if you get a minute.

https://byui-media.ldscdn.org/byui_ft/devo_audio/04_03_2014_Devo.mp3

This really got me. We have agency to choose who we are and how we define ourselves.  Denying ourselves our own decisions and letting others do so is not what was meant to be.

"There are also people who consider the defining fact of their existence that they are from Texas or that they were in the United States Marines. Or they are red-headed, or they are the best basketball player that ever played for such-and-such a high school. People can adopt a characteristic as the defining example of their existence and often those characteristics are physical.

We have the agency to choose which characteristics will define us; those choices are not thrust upon us.

The ultimate defining fact for all of us is that we are children of Heavenly Parents, born on this earth for a purpose, and born with a divine destiny. Whenever any of those other notions, whatever they may be, gets in the way of that ultimate defining fact, then it is destructive and it leads us down the wrong path." - Dallin H. Oaks

lately........

things i love lately..................

the march page of my calendar

keep breathing and corner of your heart

i know they're old, but i can't stop listening

magazines with color

#livetexting the Oscars with my best friend.

we have the same brain.

practicing still life photos. 

Lets talk about the Oscars

Lets talk about the Oscars, because it already feels like it was so long ago, and I don't want to feel that way. This is one of my favorite nights of the year and I don't think people realize that until they experience me experiencing the Oscars.  And because of that, I have to #livetext my best friend from different states so someone who KNOWS Hollywood and films like I do, can identify with me. There were so many fabulous things though, I just have to gush for a minute. 

Ellen - she was fabulous.  Just really - after that train wreck that was Seth McFarlene last year with too many racist, sexist, and terrible canned jokes that you knew he had planned for weeks on end.  Ellen was just Ellen and it all worked out fabulously.  I mean, who buys pizza at the Oscars??

Fashion - ok, I know its kind of random, but I have to say I still am blown away by how great Olivia Wilde looked. She blew all those other pregger women out of the water.  Other honorable mentions - Cate Blanchett, Lupita, Sandra, Julia, J. Law, Amy, and Jared Leto - that bowtie killed me. 

Wins - Though I haven't seen a majority of the movies nominated (waiting for the DVD so I can Clearplay all those fabulous, yet rated R movies), I did my research, watched trailers, and so on.  I think the wins were fabulous and every bit deserved. Except for Gravity. It won way too much. And then let's talk about those speeches - I don't think I've heard as wonderful and inspiring speeches as those in the Oscars in years!  Seriously, this was one of the best Oscars yet.  So now starts my new goal to watch a large majority of the films that were Oscar winners from the very beginning. 

weekly

I. Love. The Oscars.
You can bet you'll see a post on that soon.
Also, I'm now crossing my fingers, excitedly waiting for the Us Weekly and People magazines of the Red Carpet editions to come out on stands.
I have a wave of photos to shoot and edit lately and I seriously love it so much.  I'm crossing my fingers it stays that way.

The snow that plagued small college town all day on Saturday was not welcome. Like, at all. Luckily today its just raining.
I'm desperately looking for a black utility jacket for a decent price and preferably has gold buttons. I  have yet to find one. 

I miss going on trips with my family. Whatever it is about family trips that is different, I don't know, but it makes everyone so much funnier and I can't wait until our next one. 

I'm really loving green beans and asparagus lately.
Catching Fire comes out on DVD this Friday and I can't wait to buy it.
I'm really hoping spring comes sooner. Because its fresh and I like it. 

My photography teacher really intimidates me, because he's so good at what he does, but when he gives me props for my photos, I feel so cool. 

march looks like