whoa elsa, who are you becoming?

today i thought to myself, 

'dang it, i'm totally a grown up'.

yep. thats right. 

a real live grown up. 

not just because i'm legally and literally 21 years old 

(which still can be really bizarre when i remember it), 

but also because i work at a grown up job, with grown up people. 

and also because there are people out there, 

(mainly a large group of 12-17 year old girls) 

that look to me for direction and examples of how to be when they hit my age, 

which is grown up. 

and because i'm 21. 

and then i thought, 

should i be acting 21? how do normal 21 year olds act? am i way off base?

and after that i thought, 

what if i'm not doing this whole grown up thing right??

but then i realized, maybe i am just a little bit more grown up.

i know that there are definitely things about me that are. 

but i am always with myself and i will always think that i am the same elsa.

because in some ways, i totally am.