monday

I'm in need of a bang trim and hair cut. 

Getting back into writing is almost like getting back into the dating field. It’s awkward to get back into. But here I am – back again.

My last few weeks of school were busy in every sense of the way. But I’ve learned that that’s when I find out what isn’t necessary to my life and move on with what is.

I thought a lot about this last year at school.  And I learned a lot about myself.  More on that later.

I’m back to work.  Having an excuse to dress up every day = my kind of summer.

This summer calls for an onslaught of new routines, traditions, and experiences. 

I’m in a little summer book club and we read the most delightful books.

I just ate an entire sandwich sized Ziploc baggie of green snap peas for lunch. Hoorah for healty food.

Have you ever been embarrassed at your ability to speed through a TV series and at the same time not be embarrassed enough to stop? That’s me.

It rained today. Don’t you think the Earth looks its lovliest when it has just rained?

Allergy season is always the silent plague.  Trying not to itch my eyes until my make-up comes off leaving me to look like a druggie or a kid with pink eye, is harder than it sounds.

when something is right

i think when something is right, it's different. its exhilarating. its not nervousness. its anxious and anticipation mixed with determination.

i was thinking about the last wedding i shot, which as i mentioned, was completely by myself. the temple was packed that day with 57 weddings, and navigating spots, keeping groups together, all of that stuff, was not an easy task. yet, the entire day i had this odd confidence about me. like i had done it before and i already knew what i was doing. it wasn't a 'fake it til you make it' kind of thing. it was real and odd and completely unbelievable. i don't know how i did it, but all i do know is that it was right. it feels like its not only what i want to do now, but what i am supposed to be doing now. and those little moments i have when i remember this and realize this make me feel so wonderfully blessed. that reassurance from a divine being is one of the more powerful experiences in life and i could not respect it more.

weekly

I. Love. The Oscars.
You can bet you'll see a post on that soon.
Also, I'm now crossing my fingers, excitedly waiting for the Us Weekly and People magazines of the Red Carpet editions to come out on stands.
I have a wave of photos to shoot and edit lately and I seriously love it so much.  I'm crossing my fingers it stays that way.

The snow that plagued small college town all day on Saturday was not welcome. Like, at all. Luckily today its just raining.
I'm desperately looking for a black utility jacket for a decent price and preferably has gold buttons. I  have yet to find one. 

I miss going on trips with my family. Whatever it is about family trips that is different, I don't know, but it makes everyone so much funnier and I can't wait until our next one. 

I'm really loving green beans and asparagus lately.
Catching Fire comes out on DVD this Friday and I can't wait to buy it.
I'm really hoping spring comes sooner. Because its fresh and I like it. 

My photography teacher really intimidates me, because he's so good at what he does, but when he gives me props for my photos, I feel so cool. 

lately......

things i love lately......

this big fancy flash. 

i feel legit. 

oils. 

yep, i'm one of those crazy oil people.

i am SERIOUSLY addicted to this show.

my gold necklace. 

let's be still. 

this lotion saves my dry dry hands.

You know that feeling you get when you've had a break? It's like everything you usually do should have been put at a stand still hold - school should freeze, friends do nothing without you, and the rest of everything in your world should all pause for just a minute while you just take this break. But its like when you come back, everything kept going on without you, and you're flabbergasted that it did. Not only that, its now taking turns kicking you in the butt and stressing you out. That's where I'm at.  I'm so worried what I missed out on, I haven't checked anything at all. I'm even debating not going back to school tomorrow. Or at all. It's really too bad that's not an option.

inspiration

it hits me and goes through me in a way that nothing else does. it runs like something i've never really experienced otherwise.  almost like a slow fog at first - i can't quite make sense of anything, no matter what it is I'm working on.  i have pieces, vague ideas, scattered thoughts.  But nothing really goes the way I want it.  And then suddenly, with no real rhyme, reason, or time, i feel it creeping in. and i can't quite grasp it yet, but i know its coming. it's seeping through the ceiling and like an egg being cracked, it seeps over the top of my head and flows down through me. and if i don't grab something and start writing it down, i'll lose it. if i don't speak immediately, i'll forget it. if i don't move and do it runs past me. it is the most odd and somewhat spiritual experience i have. there are times where i sit and labor and work tirelessly towards just a glimmer of inspiration. and then there are the blessed times that i can literally feel a surge and charge run through me. and i don't know why i work that way, but i do. my life works like this. and i live like this because it is my creative brain and it satisfies me and i sometimes think of it and look at it in awe.  its the most beautiful thing that i can think of - a tangible connection with a higher and more ultimate power that can be seen through the product of what i create. and that's a gift

things i'm looking forward to:

- a new semester with my wonderful friends and new possibilities
- juan-uary 5th ;)
- my best friend's wedding
- taking pictures at best friend's said wedding with my other best friend
- packages (i'm expecting 3)
- the annual birthday bash
- change. resolutions. everything.
- the almost unbelievable idea of warmer weather

resolve

simplicity at its finest. 

i'm on track to trying to become a softer, 

more kind and loving girl

that would emulate her testimony and Christ-like love.

cheers to the year!

gold syndrome

guys, i am so obsessed with gold and glitter lately, its insane. i also can't get enough of that song 'do you want to build a snowman?' and then it always turns into 'let it go' and i sing it alllllllllllllll day. and then i think about how much i love it that her name is elsa and my name is elsa and then i hope that someone else will want to talk about it too. so if i bring it up, thats probably why. anyways, back to gold and glitter. its like i have a radar for it, and all that my eyes can spot is something that is gold or glittery, and it jumps out and says "BUY ME ELSA".  it kind of makes me laugh. i also have this problem that makes me want to watch all of the modern family episodes ever made but its like i have to jump through illegal hoops just to do it (i mean, why netflix doesn't have it, i will never know), and it kind of poops me out, so most times i just don't watch it. i also want to cook and eat all things wonderful and paint all things wonderful. and so is my christmas break life.

tuesday. because monday is oh so busy.

this is my face, because the cold snow makes me happy, and cold.
i know, i know. i haven't blogged in a while.
if you couldn't tell from everyone that resides in the states surrounding me, it snowed today. like, a lot.
thanksgiving break was wonderful in every aspect of a break.
but now that is december, i can start talking about how much i love december. because hello, it has my birthday. and the world turns into a gorgeous snow globe of goodness. oh, and the best way to spread christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.
i also sang "snow" from white christmas all last night and today because it snowed.
and the apartment is decorated like a winter wonderland. its fabulously fabulous and i find myself wanting to be in my living room next to my little pink tree always.
i also hung mistletoe above our front door ;)
oxblood and gold are officially my two new favorite colors.
i love this season and i want it to stay a while.

"watch out, extremely sassy"

let's just start by saying the red devil came to visit in the most inopportune time, which was today.
my motivation has literally flown out the window. like, i watched it peace out on me right as soon as my sweats went on.  and the fact that i don't really care to get it back is probably the worst part. not that i care about it right now. all i cared about was an order of cinnamon twists, a crunchwrap supreme, and an extra large soda. and grumpy elsa gets what she wants. it also doesn't help that i have three tv shows that i want to catch up on right now, and a pile of laundry that should probably be done.  but to be real, my sarcasm is off the charts hysterical right now, and i think if there is anything that should be seen as good from this mood, maybe it should be that. i should walk around with a sign hanging around my neck that says "watch out, extremely sassy" so no one crosses me and i further embarrass myself. so let's just say that's my excuse for no post about my life. i'll promise that for another day, when the red devil isn't so keen on consuming my attitude and body both.

can we just talk about how stressed I am right now, because maybe that would help.

but really. never did i imagine that i would be so busy that i wouldn't have time for revenge. #priorities. also, never did i think that i would have so many good friends that i would have to balance my time between them all and it would distract me from homework. its a good thing, but i also hate it. its like i'm still that toddler that won't go to sleep in her room because i'm afraid that i'm missing out. yep mom, i guess i'll always be like that. and then there's this thing called work. don't get me wrong, making money is the biggest blessing i've ever had at school, but having to balance a professional work life on top of everything else is an ongoing adjustment that i'm still trying to make. speaking of adjustments, i guess i kind of date now.  i don't know how it happened, and it probably will stop soon (because it seems to be something that comes and goes in spurts), but that also has been added to my plate. and how i'll ever become good at letting down those boys that are so nice but just not my type, is a mystery to me. because sometimes i would rather be let down by the guys that i like than have to tell one more softie that i just want to be friends. actually, i take that back. but i guess that regardless of what i want to have happen, my life is just always going to stay this busy and probably only get busier. i promise that the complaining won't get worse. at least not publicly. oh an let me admit that today i skipped class to do homework.  shouldn't that not be how it goes? SLOW DOWN ON THE HOMEWORK TEACHERS!

today is tuesday

i have so much to tell you.
my life has hit this stage where it is running and i am hastily trying to keep up with it.
i've been practicing my video skills by working on a little project from summer trips and i am in love.
it also makes me want to go back to europe very very badly.
i went on a date last weekend to the haunted straw maze and it was probably the funnest thing of my life, even though i don't think i'd go with him again. did i mention that it was the guy that i put my number on his car? 
sometimes i really want it to be thanksgiving already. i just love good pie.
there's a new trailer for this movie called monuments men and it looks fantastically awesome.
downton abbey is absolutely killing me right now.
i met the greatest person i've probably ever met to only never see them again. #timingsucks
i'm making my roommates watch all of the harry potters with me for the next month and its probably the greatest thing ever.
i've made a habit of falling asleep on my textbook when i study in the library in the afternoons.
some days, i go to sleep and i honestly don't know i did it that day.
i have decided to be happy. because it is good for my health.

oh, um, hey. long time no see.

so, yes, its true. i have neglected this blog, because hey-i'm at school and i'll be darned if i don't do my homework and have a productive social life. and to be honest, both of those things have kept me mighty busy. so my guilt for not having blogged coupled with my complete lack of motivation (i blame the red devil) has made me decide to catch you up on my life via snapchats that have been saved to my phone, and the promise of a real blog post tomorrow. enjoy.

its an intense thing to do in the dark at 1 in the morning

that was a rough day.

i send funny snapchats in the morning

we like friends

yep. i went the whole month without soda. boo ya!

monday on thursday

i took a small break. i've been a little preoccupied.
i had my last day at work last week. wahoo for breaks!
i also have been nannying all day long a few days this week and my mac and cheese intolerance has boosted through the roof.
my love for ikea has only grown as i get older and need more things of the house and home related genre.
is it bad that i will probably never be sick of cafe rio?
i can't help but think maybe nick miller isn't so chicken for moon walking away from things.
school is still around the corner. and now that its closer, i have mixed feelings.
my favorite color lately is bright electric blue. and emerald green.
i need someone around me to have a baby.
the thing about me that i can't seem to ever change, is that i can never go to bed when i say i will.
Something good happened last week, and I was like Scarlett O'Hara in my freaking curtain dress.

wednesday

there is so much that has happened this last week, and sometimes i still can't process it all. #itsagoodthing
my house felt like little mexico last week. we're replacing the tile floor and all i hear all day is mariachi band music and spanish.
i stayed up all night one night catching up on movie trailers. it was literally like all night. #movielover
my room got so messy last week, that at one point i swore it was a fire hazard.
again, i'm even more fully understanding the concept of when it rains it pours.
i shock myself lately. the logical side of me is thrown away at the door and all that panicky anxiety is starting to melt away with it. don't worry though-i haven't completely lost all my responsibility.
i've been working on a little project lately and its been so much fun. you'll see it soon :)
i love my friends. i feel like one of those high schoolers that never stops talking about their friends, but i seriously got to hand it to them-they are the best. and i love them.
i still have a crush on phillip phillips.

will do anything for a photo

i found this on my computer the other day and laughed.

i had forgotten how funny it was when i tried to take cortney's portraits

but it started pouring down rain and it was the first time using my camera.

but i found a way. 

like i always say, i'll do anything for a picture.
then, when i think about how yesterday i took some of the greatest pictures of my life
as a finisher for cortney's session that had been cut short,
i want to cry.
because with the lightning storms and a power surge,
it left me with a blank memory card
and absolutely no pictures from the shoot.
i still want to cry when i think about it too long.
but don't worry,
WE ARE TAKING THOSE DARN PICTURES!

manic monday

last week was some pretty fun times. no, it was probably some of the funnest times. i was with all my girls and got to see where they all live and meet their families. more on that later (tomorrow).
school is getting ever closer. and like every year, i anticipate it and dread it at the same time.
i've learned that volunteering to work the day after vacation is really stupid.
i can't stop listening to katy perry's new song.
someone told me i was movie-star beautiful, cover of a magazine gorgeous last week and it made my entire day.
when i logged onto facebook last night, i counted 4 of my really good friends with pictures posted of them and their significant others. guess i better get on that.
i realized that going on dates with a guy that you already know you can't see it going anywhere is like putting a band aid on a scab. you don't really need it there, but why not just give it a test run? and all the while you know that in the end, ripping that sucker off is going to hurt. yikes.
i bought the sound of music last week and you cannot believe how happy i was to see it on sale.
having happy friends makes me happy.

monday oh monday

dying my hair always makes me feel better. i love the dark red so much.
what doesn't make me feel better is the recent change in my complexion...its throwing me for a loop.
i'm visiting my friends this week. WHATT??
i have a really hard time keeping my room clean. particularly my clothes.
sometimes when i'm grumpy and don't want to be, i call up jace and then i'm ok.
i tried to eat healthier last week. it kinda worked.
i also cooked a full meal-from scratch. and it was good.
linkedin is one of my newer time taking activities, but its all professional.
sorry for all the bachelorette talk, but i feel like des lately, and it comes with the territory.
i played badminton last week. it was awesome.
i don't get to spend a half day with my mom that much anymore, but when i do, i love it.
sometimes i wonder if being completely honest isn't christ like...but then i wonder if lying is better.
i don't ave any guilty pleasures. it requires embarrassment of the pleasure and i normally obsess so much over things like that i'm not embarrassed to hide it.

an ode to shel silverstein and how I feel about my day

i do not want to be at work today,
the little elsa marin conveyed.
i have some projects and tasks to complete.
they're growing and growing, but I can't seem to compete.
i'd rather be shopping or swimming for fun,
just anything at all that involves the warm sun.
but i have a list of things to do,
i can't simply ignore it, for there's more than a few.
it seems my fun may just have to delay...
wait, whats that you say?
you say today is friday??
oh, goodbye! I'm going to go out to play.


and then i decided to never try writing a poem again. ha.