yep, i'm a romantic

written on may 16th, 2012

i used to have this bitter and cynical view of love. i blame my age and school location. with everyone around me getting closer to marriage, it only seemed that i was getting further and further away. men had turned into slovenous pigs or spineless jellyfish, and i had no cares for any of them. it seemed as if i would never reach love. i would never find it and i was ok with giving up on it. and then, one day, i fell in love, with love. i became infatuated with the very idea of it. the essence of it. the image. and i became that lovesick, hopeless teenage girl i once was. but i had a deeper appreciation. a fondness. an understanding of the souls being merged into a serious and deep love that went beyond butterflies, quaint kisses, and batting eyelashes.
everyone always tells me that i am the friend. the friend that will only date one more boy and that very boy, i will marry. i will have a romantic, sweep me off my feet love that will whisper to both my brain and my heart, oh there it is. there you are. and whether it is true, or whether it is false, i will see. but i know that the moment a man sees me as a lovely person and only dares leave my presence if his heart would allow such distance, that i will be hopelessly, madly, and passionately in love with him. and i will not know what to do with all the wonder and beauty that will unfold in my life. and it will be the end. and a beginning. but for now, i will wait. and i will hope. and i will stay in love with love, and count my days remaining alone. for it is alone, that i truly began my journey to loving him.

one day.

annie

well, here we are again.

yet another friend photo shoot!

 last week annie offered herself as a practice model and even gave me a location idea-score!

(i'm telling you, sandyland is not as full of great places as small college town was)

i walked away a bit more confident, 

but ultimately more jealous of her green eyes.

still at the beach.
pictures to come :)

rb

this is where i am right now.

you should be jealous. 

i mean, it is only the best place to go to the beach.

and the southern home cooking is incredible. 

its good to be home. 

because lobsters mate for life

i will live my life as a lobsterman's wife
on an island in the blue bay
he will take care of me, he will smell like the sea
and close to my heart, he'll always stay

i will bear three girls, all with strawberry curls
little ella and nellie and faye
while i'm combing their hair, i will catch his warm stare
on our island in the blue bay

because one day i will have this and i will be just as happy and content as this song feels
and this will maybe be what it looks like, but with many more children. but still with the red hair.

lately...

things i love lately....

gossip girl. obviously. 

this book. 

i mean, uh, journal. 

tongue tied. 

this picture. 

heytell. 

summer skirts

my 3 am ramble

i think its funny when people put their names as their blog url. its like the world is so desensitized that we don't even try to be safe on the internet anymore. and when we find that they've been stalked and possibly kidnapped, they'll say 'well, they did make their blog url their first and last name'.

sometimes i go to the movies at midnight and spend the whole time thinking to myself, 'i am going to be so tired tomorrow morning. i have to go straight to bed when i get home.' but then i get home and spend hours talking instead and i think 'ehhh what harm is it anyways?'. thats when my morning mood says 'its an extra hour of sleep. thats the harm.'

do you ever realize how ironic it is that we complain about things that we could stop? school is expensive. well then don't go.  i hate being tired. well then go to bed.

ever wonder why your brain gets all funny late at night? i like to think i do my best work then. but sometimes i just end up sleep talking to my roommates. or sleep hey-telling them.

once i heard about free-range writing. at least i think it was called that. maybe it was free-form or free-thought. anyways, its when you just write whatever you're thinking. there need not be any connecting thoughts or words.

the germans wore grey, you wore blue.



though i am a bit delusional and it is extremely late, i do realize that some of these thoughts could potentially offend a few people. please take no offense-i like all your blog urls, enjoying spending time talking, i complain all the time myself, and my brain is the weirdest of them all. its late. and i just have thoughts.